-It's only 1/2 past 12, but I don't care

12:10am: *Nothing Good Comes Easily*
Today was quite the emotional day. I found out some crazy things about my family in California and needless to say, its been one heck of a rollercoaster. I don't want to get into detail, but thanks to those who listened. :) I truly appreciate it.

Anywho, I haven't been up to much lately. Hangin out with Eric, working, and this week I got to go to the pool a couple days in a row and work on the tan. I got sunburned like a beast a couple days ago, but thank god I'm developing a nice tan now. :) Grr, I don't have anything to write about!!!!! Oh well, I guess I'm gunna go give Eric a call and then head to bed.

goodnight

12:00am: *If I Die Tomorrow. . . . *
So once again I haven't written in a long time. To be fully honest, I haven't really had the time to just sit down and write. Knowing me, I'll forget everything I had to write and will end up with a very short entry. Ah well, it happens. It's late, give me a god damn break.

Lets see here. . . . Thursday until Monday I was in Mass and Connecticut with Eric. We went camping in CT with his entire family. We only slept over there Friday and Saturday, but it was an awesome time. We taught his family how to play beruit and they loved it! good times. The other nights, we slept at his house and just hung out. We went and saw The Longest Yard on Friday and it was soooo goood! We played some Texas Hold Em, watched sports and just chilled out. It was seriously one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. I really enjoyed myself. :)

What else?.....When I got home Monday night, I hung out with Pat, Sean, Kev, and Drew and we played Texas hold em at my house for a bit. Then we went to Denny's and hung out there for a bit. Pat let me drive his new car, so that was a bit of fun! :) I have never driven a convertible before, so it was pretty exciting for me! haha. I'm a dork, just accept it. Patty slept over last night and thats about it for Monday.

Today, I woke up feeling like complete ass. I felt so sick today it wasn't even funny. So needless to say, I sat around like a lump of crap hoping to feel better. Finally, later tonight I felt like I could actually move, but still not tip top shape, if you will. Then I went to work, and once I got home, Lyssa came over and me, her and mom watched the OC Finale. So goooood!!!! :) Then Kev came over and the 3 of us went and saw Crash. It was very focused on racial stuff, but it was still really interesting. And now, here I am, newly showered and sitting with a nasty green face mask on and a towel on my head. I'm hott. haha....

But that's all I have for you at the moment. I'll keep you updated if anything of importance comes my way...(doubt it) But I hope to hang out with everyone more, so call me bitches!

Goooooodnight!

12:42pm: *Can't Say I Was Never Wrong, But Some Blame Rests On You*
So my Birthday was definately a good time. Saturday morning, Mom, Dad, Eric and I left real early and headed to New York. We got there about 5 hours later. The hotel was absolutely amazing. It was way tooo expensive, but we got waited on hand and foot. They came into your room at night and turned down your linens. WHAT!? haha. So Saturday, we spent in the casino gambling. That day, I lost a good chunk of about 100 bucks. It was still fun tho. We went out to lunch at some place and played Keno while we sat at the table which was really fun as well!! Then Eric and I went back to the room and watched Friday Night Lights, which was a really good movie! I've wanted to see it for so long, and finally I did!


Then Eric and I were hungry for some late night food. So we found an amazing Buffet that was open until 12. So we hit that shit up. It was fucking 18.50 a person, but well worth it! They had chinese, italian, mexican, salads, seafood, you f'ing name it. so we did that, walked around for a bit and then headed back to the hotel.

Sunday was my birthday, so that was a good time! We went out to lunch and the 3 of them brought a little cake with the candles that say 1-9 on it and sang to me! It was a good time :) After that, we gambled for a bit, and I won 100 bucks on one turn!! :) I got 4 aces in video poker and I got sooooo excited. So I technically only lost 30 bucks. Which is nice considering I won any amount of money over 2 bucks! After we were dont gambling, we headed to the car and started the drive home. So I had tons of fun in NY at the casinos! It was a definately memorable experience!

Then Sunday night, I went over to Mattys house for a night of partying for my BIRTHDAY! We played a bunch of games of ruit, smoked a nice chunk of cheeba, and had a fucking blast. Alyssa and I wantede McDonalds and decided it would be a good idea to walk in the rain to my house while we were shitfaced and stoned at 1:00 in the morning. So, we did it! 45 minutes later, 2.5 miles later, we ended up at my house and got into my car. Mind you, we did this b/c everyone else was sooo drunk that they couldn't drive us and neither of us brought our car with us. So it was the next logical thing to do. haha.

Michelle and I tore the ruit table up! Her and I were undefeated for 6 games straight! We were the new champs and beat Matt and Trenton's streak of 5! Boo yeah!

So needless to say, I had an amazing birthday with all the people I love more than anything! :) Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy bday!!

1:57am: *Far Behind*
I sometimes wonder why life turns out the way it does. I worry that we're not making the right choice and we're making the biggest mistake of our lives. I feel underappreciated and unable to be understanding on things I shouldn't have to deal with. I just hope to God that everything happens for a reason and that reason will make me a better person in the end. Everything is so flipped upsidedown, its real hard to understand and even begin to recognize all of the life changing things happening around me.

Sometimes, I just don't know anymore.

I miss you. I love you. I really do. And my scheduele just went off on my cell phone saying "leaving for Florida..."
and now, I have officially began to cry.

Everything happens for a reason....Everything happens for a reason....Everything happens for a reason....Everything happens for a reason....Everything happens for a reason......Riiiiiiight.

Right?

12:59am: *This Is How We Do*
I really should get to bed since I have to work tomorrow for another 9 hours tomorrow. I worked today for 9 hours and I'm fucking beat. On a happy note, my Birthday is in a week!!!!!! :) A lot has happened in my life lately and I am content with that idea that everything happens for a reason. I don't really want to get into to, but I wanted to write down that I feel like everything will work out for the best.

I haven't been doing much of anything lately. Working, schooling, and sleeping. Thats about it. School will be over this coming Thursday which is fucking amazing!! summer is almost here and I can't wait for the parties, the bicks trips, and the star gazing among many of the things we will be doing all summer! :) woo! Damn. I thought I had so much more to write than this. Oh well

on that note, I'm gunna crawl into bed and hit the hay.

Goodnight

12:33am: *What I Really Wanna Say, I Can't Define*
I don't know why I'm writing in here right now. I don't have much to say....hmm lets see

This past Saturday, the volleyball girls threw a little hotel party at the Comfort Inn. It was so so so so much fun! :) I took Michelle with me and it was a grand ol time. All my favorite people from Hesser were there so that was really cool to get to hang out with them outside of Volleyball and/or class. Saturday morning, we had our vb tournament and won the entire championship. Which isn't a surprise considering how terrible the other teams are. After the game, the boys and girls vb team went to Hooters to celebrate. After that, napped and then thats when I headed to the party. Played some beruit, smoked and drank! It was a good time overall.

Sunday, worked, went out to lunch with Brooke, and hung out at home all night watching movies. I forgot how funny and retarded The Waterboy was. So yeah, thats pretty much all thats happened lately. My birthday is coming up in less than a month, so thats exciting, as well as classes are almost over! And this Friday I have orientation at Wal Mart and then I start working full time once classes are over. So thankfully, I'll be making some sort of money to save up for FL.

Alright, I'm gunna go to bed! goodnight

---I feel the break,
Feel the break,
Feel the break and I got to live it up,
Oh, yea huh, well I swear that I
What I really wanna know, baby,
What I really want to say I can’t define.
Well its love,
that I need, ohh
My soul will have to...wait....---

5:26pm: *HAPPY 420 STONERS!!!!*
I just wanted to say Happy 420 to those who celebrate it! If you don't God knows I'll smoke enough for all of you. :) It's like weed is almost legal on 420, but its not like I don't act like its legal everyday....woops! *blush*

On that note, Sublime a kick ass band and anyone who likes them should check out this new fucking awesome band called Pepper. :)



-tell me why you gotta fuck with me?
is it because I'm a kottonmouth king?
I got no time for negativity-

(god bless kmk!!!!)

4:57pm: *Summer Breeze, Makes Me Feel Fine*
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (name of first pet + street you live on): Lady Jakes

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack): Beulah chips and salsa....hahahaha

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant): Lexmark La Caretta

4. YOUR SOCIALITE NAME: (silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied): Weasel Merrimack

5. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal + name of high school): Dog Merrimack

6. YOUR BARFLY NAME: (last snack food you ate + your favorite drink): Beans Smirnoff....haha, (that one really made me laugh...hahaha)

7. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name + street where you first lived): Nicole Garden

8. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:(favorite candy + favorite musicians last name): Reeses Pieces Mraz

9. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use): Dave Verizon (that one is really lame) I agree Peg...STUPID! haha

10. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( first 3 letters of your last name+ last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name + first 3 letters of the town you live in): Tamler Lilmer
Thats a friggen tongue twister, GROSS

11:28pm: *While He's Havin A Smoke, And Shes Taking A Drag*
I'm really bored so I thought I would write. I've been so incredibly busy lately that I'm surprised I'm even functional. I apologize ahead of time if I spell incorrectly and/or none of this makes any sense. Between school, work and volleyball, I've been burning my candle at every possible end to say the least. During my free time, I've been sleeping, showering, looking at a place to live in FL, and going to the club on Thursdays. The club is the only time I'm out doing something that has nothing to do with the previous things I stated. I can't wait until school is over. Hesser is such a fucking joke....haha. You gotta laugh at it just because it is seriously such a waste of time and money and I can either laugh, or cry. . . .and crying is over rated. Volleyball has been decent, sadly we don't play any teams that we can consider competition, so ya know...its kinda boring thats all. Thankfully, my team is pretty damn good. We're undefeated and we're definately going to stay that way since we only play 3 different teams and they're all half retarded.

The girls are so much fun though. I'm really close with Amber and shes a really cool chick. Shes the only one on the team that knows I'm moving and I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible b/c I know my coach will treat me like shit as soon as he knows. But oh well, I know I'll be 10000000000+ times happier down in FL. Warm weather nearly everyday? Don't mind if I do. :)

Also, I suggest that next spring break, you all save up and come down to Florida and Me, Lyssa and Patty and whoever comes down should take a little trip for some spring break action!? haha, just a thought, that would be totally kick ass.

hmm what else....

I'm still sick, and I think its the 4th month in a row of this bullshit. Needless to say, I'm sick of being sick. I'm pretty sure I have mono but who knows? I'm too lazy to go to the doctor b/c its just a waste of my time and I don't really have time to go anyways. Oh the irony.

On Monday, I went over to the Caswell's house for dinner and a movie night. We watched Pulp Fiction since none of us had seen it before. I really liked that movie a lot. It was so fucked up and weird that it was right up my alley! haha. Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta rock my god damn socks off :) If you haven't seen that movie, check it out!

This Friday, I went to see Sin City with Alice and Brooke. Fucking amazing movie! I loved it so so much. The way it was directed and all that was just awesome. I love that it was a comic book movie that came to life by only showing the colors red, blue, green and yellow. So cool. I highly reccommend that you all go see it.

On that note, I think I'm gunna head to bed early for another long ass week of classes, volleyball and work.

12:23am: *Sitting, Wishing, Waiting*
So the past few days have been extremely stressful. I have been talking with Dave about moving to Florida for the past few weeks.....it was merely a suggestion to get me out of Merrimack and to somewhere that will hopefully help me go to a better school and make me happier. Alyssa and I had spent the past few weeks looking at apartments in Manchester because we wanted to get a place here, save money, and then move down to Fl in about 8 months or so. Then I realized, that doesn't make any sense....why on Earth would I get an apartment here to SAVE money, when they're so very expensive? Why not just live at home where I don't have to pay rent and save money and then move to FL? And that, is why I've decided I'm moving to Florida. I talked to Pat about this idea and he loved it and agreed that he too wants to get out of Merrimack and try something new. I then told Alyssa about this and she agrees. So now, Pat, Lyssa and I are going to get a 3 bedroom place in Orlando and work and go to school there. I think I'm the only one of the 3 going to school, but hey, its part of the deal with my parents that I have to go to school full time if I'm going to move there. I don't know where I'm going to school yet....but we'll see. Dave says I should go to his school and do the recording arts major, which would be absolutely amazing.....so I'm looking into it. I just don't want people to think that I'm like.....copying him ya know? I love Dave with all my heart and yes of course I'm moving to FL to be closer to him, but I'm doing all of this in hopes that it is going to make me happier and make my life better than it can be here.

Sadly, my mother is devastated and she is trying very hard to be happy for me. But good god, I'm her only child and her and I have a very close relationship so this isn't going to be easy for either of us. Its gunna be real hard moving away from my family but, I'll have Dave and I know he'll make this whole thing much easier. So needless to say, I'm sooooo excited about moving and I can't wait to get everything all set up! :) We're planning on moving end of July, beginning of August so I can be ready to go to school in September....right on sister! haha...on that note, I'm gunna go do some more apartment shopping while I wait for Dave to call me back. *goodnight*

2:22am: *......I miss you......*
I can see what is happening to me, but I can't figure out what to do about it. I can't quit crying, I'm lazy, I'm lonely, and I just can't seem to shake it. Theres only one thing that seems to make me happy and hes 1300 miles away......

Fuck writing, I'm just not in the mood to write. I'm in the fucking mood to do anything these days.......

3:21pm: *Bored again..Yeah what of it?!*
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Tiff
2. TFunkmama
3. Babe

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Tnt51512dt
2. angel34047
3. xtnt2004x

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I'm pretty damn funny
2. I'm hot.....
3. and not conceited....haha.....woops

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I care too much
2. my hair isnt naturally straight
3. I'm chubby

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Indian
2. Irish
3. Dutch

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. ice cream trucks
2. being stuck in merrimack forever
3. clowns

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. underwear
2. some sort of shirt
3. some sort of shoes

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. black sweatpants
2. tanktop
3. uh...thats it...

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Brand New
2. Incubus
3. Jason Mraz

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (right now):
1. Brand New "Soco Amaretto Lime"
2. Gavin DeGraw "Chariot"
3. Motley Crue "If I Die Tomorrow"

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. have an apartment with Dave
2. smoke less weed
3. going to a better school

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. anything that dave has....
2. so, funny
3. and loves me no matter what :)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I've eaten a chicken heart
2. I'm pregnant
3. I want to go bungi jumping

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. laugh
2. eyes
3. Dave Caswell

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. stop smokin weed
2. stop wanted to get out of merrimack
3. Stop hating school

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Halo 2, xbox live
2. smoking weed (god im sucha stoner)
3. goin to Bicks...haha

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. live with dave, more than anything in the world
2. get a job dealin with tv or movies
3. get the fuck out of merrimack

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. tv producer
2. set designer
3. movie producer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Amsterdam
2. Florida
3. Canada

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Connor
2. Amy
3. Crack baby

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. get married to dave
2. have a baby, or babies
3. have Dave and I make it big in the movie industry

THREE WAYS YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A Girl
1. I hate spiders
2. I like buying things!
3. I've got a great rack...haha

THREE CELEBRITY CRUSHES:
1. Jason Mraz
2. Adam Brody
3. Jack Black

12:14pm: *I'm bored.....haha*

You Are 26 Years Old

26 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

You Know You're a Pothead When...

You think the song "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead should replace the national anthem. Your music collection is worth more than your vehicle. Your bong is taller than your dog. It takes you more than 30 minutes to roll a joint. You set your wedding date for 4/20. You take off April 20th every year and treat it as a holiday. You spent your last bit of money to score some herbs and don't have enough gas money to get home but you don't care. You start every sentence with - uhhh!. You intentionally roll seeds in your joints on independence day so you can hear the popping because you don't have money to buy fireworks. You eat at Taco Bell more than 8 times a week. You wear sunglasses at night, and see better. You go to the corner store and the clerk automatically tosses a pack of rolling papers on the counter. Your pot tray is fuller than your refrigerator. Your bong gets washed more than your dishes. You sell your car for gas money You are the only tobacco smoker in the room and you look at the cigarette in the ashtray and ask, "Is that my cigarette?" You're eating something on your way home thinking about what you're gonna eat when you get home! Every cylinderical object you see, turns into plans on a new smoking device.... Just to be religous, you observe 4:20 in every time zone. Someone has ever come up to you on the street and said "Hi" and you said "Yep." You thought the ebola virus was a type of weed. You think being stoned to death would be a damn good way to go out. You have ever smoked pot before 8 o'clock in the morning. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other pothead friends.

You Are A Romantic

You are more romantic than 80% of the population. You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to. Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you. Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted. Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Your New Years Resolution Should Be: Wake up before noon

You've been accused of sleeping your life away And it's a little bit true - you are really into your pillow In fact, it may be years since you've seen a sunrise at the *start* of your day Sleep a little less. Some sunshine would do you good.

You Belong in New Zealand

Good on ya, mate You're the best looking one of the bunch Though you're often forgotten... You're quite proud of who you are

OKAY! WELL IM GUNNA GO PLAY SOME HALO 2....ON XBOX LIVE, B/C THATS ALL I DO THESE DAYS :) LATAAAAA

9:44pm: *I've Seen Better Days*
If you read this,
even if I don't speak to you often,
post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want; it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.

Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you.


I honestly have no idea if anyone will even write me a note or if anyone even reads this damn thing.......but we'll see....:)

12:46am: *Visions Of You Dear, Dance In The Night*
I don't really have anything special to write about, b/c this weekend, I did absolutely nothing. I really hate being in Merrimack all the time. I wish I could have gone to Florida with Dave to FullSail. It would have been rad to actually go to a decent school for what I want to be, and be with Dave as well. Too bad, I wasn't with him at the time I was trying to figure out where I wanted to be. Oh well. Hesser is pretty much a joke. I have no motivation to go to class, which means I don't go as much as I should. Woops. Atleast I've got classes that have to do with my major. I kinda wished I had taken a year off or something and just worked my ass off and saved money so I could get myself an apartment. I really wish I was on my own, I spose I should enjoy the time I have not having to pay for most of the things I would have to if I had my own place, but still. I need more independence. I want to be able to smoke a damn cigarette when I want to. haha. I want to be able to just sit around and drink a beer in my own home. Not do the dishes, not have to check in with my parents. It sucks ass. Hopefully, by this time next year, I'll have my own place somewhere....maybe even with Dave. Who knows? :)

I'm really tired and I don't know why I'm sitting here typing away about nothing, when I could be sleeping. Anywho. Tonight was the Superbowl, or as Peggy says. WUPERBOWL....haha. That was classic.
My family and I went over to the Caswell's house for their superbowl party, which was really fun. Mom bought be Strawberry Cosmopolitan Wine Coolers and I just sipped on those, hung out with everybody there. It was a really nice time. I hadn't realized how much I love Dave's family. They're just so much fun. They told me some good stories about Dave when he was little, which was highly entertaining. Their TV is amazing and I'm happy that we watched the game at their house. Good times indeed. After that, hung out with Big Al for a bit and now I'm home writing, and heading to bed soon.

On a fun note, I got my hair done and it rules! Now that my hair is finally long again, I thought I would treat myself to a nice professional hair coloring job. My hair is still the brown it was before, but now it fades from the brown to a jet black at the very bottom. I've never seen anything like it, but I thought of it and it came out exactly how I wanted it. So I'm stoked about that, to say the least. Alright, I better head to bed, I've got classes 12-5....grosssss.

Goodnight


ps....way to go Pat's...Bruschi, you're the fucking man....and I want to hug you....



*You're my everything
you make me feel so alive*

6:07pm: *Boo Boo Kitty Fuck???*
Your Last Year in High School

What year was it? 2004
What were your three favorite bands? Evanescence, Incubus, hmm...I don't really remember to be honest with you...
What was your favorite outfit? jeans, my black hurley zip up and any shirt that let my boobs hang out
What was up with your hair? brown with light brown highlights in it
Who were your best friends? kristen, megs, rach, tyler
What did you do after school? worked, nothing....
Where did you work? with the mom
Did you take the bus? nope, drove my hot ride
Who did you have a crush on? Grant and then Dave at the end of the year :)
Did you fight with your parents? every once in awhile
Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on? Jason Mraz
Did you smoke cigarettes? nothing compared to how much I smoke now.....woops!
Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker? nervous? fuck that shit....I didn't bring my books to schoool.....you were lucky to even see me in class..haha senior year was a joke....
Did you have a 'clique'? i spose so
Admit it, were you popular? i felt comfortable talking to anyone, so i spose so
Who did you want to be just like? no one
What did you want to be when you grew up? something that made me a lot of money with the least amount of effort
Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now? I thought I was going to be alone forever, and in a 4 year university.......boy was I way off....who knew I'd be at home, going to a school that retards can go to, (literally) and be with the love of my life for 7 months....go figure. Apparently I don't know as much as I thought

You scored as Sadistic Humour. Congratulations, you scored Sadistic Humour. You find the little things in life to be funny, and have a great sense of humour, whether it's stupid or dark. You're probably young, and older people don't understand why it's all so fucking hillarious. Either way, check out: Clerks, Mallrats, Napoleon Dynamite, Wayne's World. </td> Sadistic Humour 85% Sci-Fi/Fantasy 70% Mindfuck 60% Romantic Comedy 55% Artistic 50% Drama/Suspense 40% Mindless Action Flick 30% Movie Recommendation. created with QuizFarm.com

1:36am: *Coming Out Win or Lose, Just Like You*
So I haven't written in what seems like forever. I haven't had much time and energy to write and not to mention I'm not too happy to be back in NH. Florida was amazing. I had the best time down there and I'm actually heading down there in 10 days. I'm going from the 10th the 13th for Valentine's Day weekend, so that should be a lot of fun. This year, friends, will be the first year ever in my life, that I've had a valentine. :) Round of applause for that. haha. Anywho....

School is going pretty well. I haven't really gotten into work mode yet, which needs to happen soon or else I'll be failing all my classes. I've been in school for 2 weeks now and I haven't even had a quiz or a test of any sort. Weird.....

My friend Alicia and I are starting our radio show on the Hesser radio station on Wednesday of this week. I actually have to go on the air kids.....this is gunna be scary. We're playing mostly stuff that isn't on the radio. Brand New, My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, local hardcore bands, and music of that sort. We go on the air for 2 hours Wednesday night and I'm stoked about it. I imagine it won't be too scary talking into a microphone. It's not like I can see the people listening to me. :) I should be good. Other classes are pretty good. My Intro to Radio Production Lecture and Lab teacher is Big Daddy from Jam'n 94.5! I thought that was pretty rad. His name is Mike and he's a really funny and cool guy. I think those 2 classes are my favorite. Mass Media is pretty boring, as well as English. Intro to Video Production is only once a week, so we'll see how that goes tomorrow. Speaking of which, I just remembered I have homework in there as well.....shit. Damn......grrrr.....oh well, I spose I'll have to do it tomorrow before class, during my break. Anyways, that class seems like its going to be pretty cool. Hopefully I get to be more "behind the scenes". I don't think I want to be in front of the camera. I'd much rather be the person who tells everyone what to do...haha. I'm good at that, especially if I know what I'm talking about.

Saturday, I went shopping for some tank tops to take down with me to Florida and got some cute stuff. Sadly, I got some camo pants, but my big ass didn't fit in them...bummer. Hit up Dunkin Donuts on the way home and ran into Mr. Hubbard. It was nice to see him again and hear that everything is going well. Kristen, I know we don't really talk but the last I knew we were not on bad terms....and I just realized February One is coming up and I wanted to say Happy Birthday. I don't know if you read my diary, but I just thought I'd throw that in there just in case.


I haven't been doing much other than that really. Work, school and Halo 2. I bought an XBox to keep me company since everyone has gone back to school. haha. Speaking of back to school, last night I went out to dinner with Gerry and Peggy at Ground Round and Peggy convinced me to go back to Bentley with her and spend the night. Christian DuPont came as well. I picked him up and we all drove down in my car. We hung out with Andy, Jay and his girlfriend, got some food, smoked, ate the food, and slept. I slept on the floor and watched most of the Michael Jackson story thing on VH1, very interesting might I add.

So I set the alarm for 12 and Christian and I headed out around 12:30, hit up Panera on the way home cause we were starving, and then once we got into Mtown, I dropped him off and headed home. It was a nice time getting out of mtown for the night. I have been so busy and I can't shake this crazy cold (which might turn out to be mono) and I haven't been out doing my crazy partying. Maybe it's my body telling me to chill the fuck out. Who knows? So today, I worked and mom and I went looking for a desk for my room, but since the world in NH ends at 6pm, we didn't get much accomplished. Then, I came home, watched the missed episode of Gilmore Girls with mom, and then Lyssa came over. We went to Wal Mart and Bicks and then came back here and watched Dawn of the Dead. Zombies are fucking scary.......remember that.

Now I just finished working out and I thought this would be a good time to write in my diary while I wait for Dave to call me back. He was in the middle of a movie, so ya know. I think thats all I have to write about for now....I pretty much covered everything. Leave me notes you dumb bitches......I think I'm talking to myself for christs sake.....ah hell, maybe I am. :) Oh well. I hope everything is going great for everyone and i can't wait for all of you to come home and visit me!

Goodnight

5:10pm: *Led Me Straight To You*

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Best friends
Your meeting was by	Luck
They are your	Shoulder to cry on
You are their	Baby
Your love will	Be unconditional
Quiz created with MemeGen!

11:19am: *Goooood Morning*
Well hey there. I'm in Florida at the moment and Dave and Beau just left for class so I decided to get myself outta bed and write in my journal of what we've been up to so far. The first night we got here, Beau and Steve picked me, Tyler and Dave up at the airport. Then we headed to the apartment to drop our shit off and then we went over to Beau's to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Once the movie was done, Beau brought us home. Oddly enough, ND took us 4 hours to finish because we kept watching certain parts over and over. We didn't get home until about 5 in the morning. Good times though. Beau and Steve are absolutely hilarious and I can't wait until Dave, Beau and I live in California together! haha that'll be out of control. I can see Beau being one of those guys that will be one of mine and Dave's really good friends for years and years. :) He's a good guy. Steve, is one of the funniest people I've ever met. . . . . honestly, when he, Dave and Beau are together, I can't keep myself together. haha.

The next day, Dave had class 1-5, so I just hung out, slept, showered and chilled out. That night, Beau, Steve and I went out to dinner at Cici's pizza with about 5 other guys. It was 5 bucks for all you can eat pizza, breadsticks, salad and soda and I swear to God it was the best pizza I've ever had. Not to mention the cheese bread was heavenly. haha. The best ever. I hope we go there again b/c I didn't eat much since Tyler and I had hit up Popeyes after a hard workout of DDR with his friends at the arcade earlier in the day. After dinner, we went to the mall to pick up Steve's computer and then headed to Orlando to play some mini golf. Sadly, Dave was real sick so he wasn't having much fun, and I got a terrible chest pain halfway through the game so needless to say, we sucked real bad. Steve was so fed up that every time he messed up, he threw his club....fucking hilarious. The end result, Beau kicked our ass....followed by me, then Dave, then Steve. Good times though. I don't mind being outdoors in a tank top and flip flops in January. 70 degrees: don't mind if I do!

Other than that, we really haven't done much. I sleep while Dave is in class and then we kinda just laid low for the past 2 days because Dave has been really sick. He had a terrible fever the night before last so I made Tyler take me to the store at 2 in the morning to get him some water and a thermometer b/c I was really worried about him. Dave was sleeping when I left and I just showed up with the thermometer and thankfully, his fever broke shortly after that. Today, hes feeling a lot better, but sadly, I think he got me sick now. So here I am starting to hack up my lungs.....it's not the smoking kids.....back off. haha. :)

Last night, Dave and I went grocery shopping and picked up 3 movies at Blockbuster and had a nice dinner and movie night. He whipped up some Tomato soup for him, I had a Weight Watchers Mac-n-Cheese and I made us some Texas Cheese bread....sooo good! After our food was ready, we watched Troy and Resident Evil:Apocalypse. Troy, pretty decent. I mean, who can hate watching Brad Pit be all naked and what not? Resident Evil, absolutely terrible. Save yourself, and never watch that movie. We fell asleep around 1ish, and then I woke up to Dave playing the 3rd movie we got at 8 this morning. Supersize me. :) Good movie. I had seen it once before so I stayed up and watched it with him. Then around 11, Beau came over to get Dave for class. The funny thing is Tyler was still sleeping and Beau found his gnome on the railing of the stairs. This gnome is bent over with its ass hangin out of its pants, so Beau decided to take the gnome and throw it at Tyler while hes sleeping. Tyler isn't one to be happy to be woken up, so Beau comes running back into Dave's room and locks the door. Then we hear a knock on the door, and Beau opens the door and gets hit in the head with the ass of the gnome. Classic.

So now, I'm just chillin out here til about 5 when the boys get out of class and I think we're gunna do some house work and some bowling with Beau and I dunno who else. :) Beau was talkin some shit so I think I gotta show him up in bowling since he beat me in golf. haha. Alright, I'm gunna go make some food and do my hair. *Later!!!!

ps: does it get any better? Sitting with the window open, blue skies, writing in the diary in FLORIDA, smoking a butt.....boo yeah gramma. :) alright, peace out!

3:18pm: *Happy New Year*
So New Years Eve was so much fun! I went to a very fun party with most of our friends....here's the list

Me
Dave
Joe
Nicky
Peggy
Nickole
Matt
Becky
Jason
Geri
Kevin
Michelle
some kid Nickole brought
and 2 girls from Geri's work

And I believe thats it. I feel like I'm forgetting someone, but oh well.

So we drank a little, smoked butts, played Ruit on the kitchen table, and just had so much fun hangin out with everyone. I brought a 6 pack of Mike's, 6 pack of Smirnoff, and a 12 pack of Bud Light for Dave. Then for Xmas, Peggy bought me Malibu, so I hit that shit up as well. We played this dice game called 3 man and it kicked my ass. 3 Smirnoff in about a half hour will get to you. We all started drinkin around 7:30, so needless to say I was feeling just fine by 12. haha. The whole countdown thing was awesome. We all watched the ball drop on MTV and I had a real kissing buddy for the first time. Once it was Jan. 1st, 2005, Dave was so excited that it was not only the New Year, but our 6 month anniversary. He proceeded to yell around the house "It's our Anniversary!" to anyone who would listen...priceless to say the least.

It was probably the best New Year's I've ever had. I've gained so much this past year and I'm so very happy that we all got to chill out together and had a great party to start a new year with. :) right on.

So I just wanted to write before I head to Florida. Dave, Tyler and I leave for Orlando tonight. Before that, my family and Dave's family are meeting at Olive Garden for dinner and are meeting for the first time. I'm excited for that and I hope they like eachother because they're gunna be family someday. haha Our plane takes off around 8:10, and we land around 11:30. Dave feels bad because he has classes all week, but thats okay by me. I much rather be sitting in 75 degree weather at Dave's house, than freezing my balls off in good ol New Hampshire. I'll miss all you guys, but I'll seeya before we all head back to school. Everyone, have a good week, and I'll seeya on the 10th. :)

Happy New Year, and may 2005 rock our fucking socks off like the last one did. :)

7:09pm: *Quizzessss!*

I Believe In a Thing Called Love by The Darkness

"I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!" You played it cheesy and campy in 2004, but you know how to rock out.

Jem Lunchbox!


Which 80's Lunchbox would you be... if you were an 80's lunchbox...
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You're "You're So Last Summer", you're
always hoping for the best, but in the end you
just get walked all over.


Which taking back sunday song are you?
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12:37am: *Merry Christmas!*
Well, these past few days have been so much fun. I know I've said it, but having Dave here is so amazing. :) It makes my holidays that much more....magical? hehe.

So Dave and I couldn't wait until the actual 25th to exchange presents so we did it last night. (the 23rd) I got him an Adio sweatshirt from Pac Sun, a 3 DVD pack called Clerks X that is about a director he likes, the Scottish flag for his apartment, and a Led Zepplin thing with 3 cd's in it. All in all, he loves all of his presents, which made my day :) Dave got me a Sublime trucker hat, the Old School DVD, and the most beautiful promise ring. It's silver and has this pretty little gem thingy in the middle, but its shaped all special and what not. Hard to explain, but completely awesome. He had lied to me the night before and told me that they were all too expensive and he wasn't going to be able to get me a ring at this time, but that little bugger surprised me so much! This ring has more meaning than I can really explain, so just accept the sentimental value here kids, haha.

So, after all that, Peggy and Alice and Dave and I watched my new dvd Dave got me, and then Tyler came over. All of us sat on the porch and just hung out. Then Dave and I went on a little run to McD's for everybody and we got some our own alone time to just chat and its nice to get to drive, smoke butts and be with my baby all at the same time. Right on!

Tonight was lots of fun too. Dave wasn't too sure if he could come over for Christmas Eve, but he called me and said that he could. I was so excited about that because hey, the holidays are important and I'm glad he could fit me in! haha. So, I went over around 6 and picked him up, I met "dad's" side of the family and we chatted for a bit. I also talked to Dave's mom for a bit and she had me show off the ring :) Good stuff. Then he headed back to my house and hung out with my family. We opened our presents from one another and then Dave and I played some pool. Mom got Dave and I a $50 gift certificate to Ya Mammas for our 6 month anniversary coming up. Dave and I were so excited since both of us are pretty much broke from Christmas. Dave also got $25 to Outback and Olive Garden from his family, so we're gunna be eating like kings until we head down to Florida. Then, we came upstairs, ate some amazing mexican food (which I'm craving right now, but thats besides the point) and then we came into my room and laid down for a bit. We just laid in my bed, cuddled, snuggled and did the whole cute lovey-dovey thing. haha. Then, we were summoned for the new game mom got us, its called "Scene It" and its a bunch of Disney movie trivia that comes with this crazy dvd that is incredibly high tech for a damn board game. It was fun tho. We played teams and somehow, Dave and I won the game! Boo yeah! :)After that, I took my baby home and I came back here and watched the OC that Mom and I missed a couple of weeks ago.

Then my mom gave me my digital camera and printer port and I got to mess around with that for a bit trying to figure it out and what not. That way, I can take some pictures tomorrow when Mom, Dad and I open our presents from eachother in the morning.

Tomorrow, on my agenda:
I'm waking up
opening presents
getting ready
going to see Spanglish with the parents
going over Dave's and our parents are finally meeting eachother
hangin out there for a good while
then Dave and I might go see a movie and go on a little date :)
after that, who knows?


Well Dave just im'ed me so I'm gunna go talk to him for a bit and then I'm off to bed...goodnight and Merry Christmas :)

2:03am: *The Black Rock*
I don't know where to begin. I spose the beginning is good.

Dave's mom called me about 3 weeks ago and asked if I would like to come with the family to pick up Dave and surprise him. Obviously I said yes and she said she would call me when the 20th was closer to talk time and what not. So....the 18th rolled around and she gave me a ring. Then, on the 20th, the family came and got me at my house and got to the airport and waited for Dave. :) I didn't bring a jacket b/c I'm dumb like that.....so "Dad" had brought a jacket for Dave and he wrapped it around my shoulders. Amazingly priceless. I feel so welcome in my new family. It rules. Anywho,

Once the plane landed, I hid behind dad and waited for Dave to come off the plane. He hugged his mom and I came out from behind dad and surprised my baby. The look on his face was awesome and we hugged and sitting here writing about it almost makes me cry. No one can even begin to understand the love we have. I actually got weak in the knees once I saw him. My hands were shaking, and my knees couldn't stay steady. So thankfully, Dave put his arm around me and held me up. Then, we got into the truck and headed back to Mtown. We made a pit stop at Blockbuster's and dad picked me up Halo 2. :) I was so excited! haha. Then we went back to the house and Caleigh and I played a few games and then Dave whipped my ass hardcore. I never knew he was so good at Halo 2....it was sad how terrible I am at it compared to him. haha. Then Caleigh and I played some racing game. After that, Joe came over and we all headed to the Texas Roadhouse for some dinner. Had dinner....Caleigh and I shared the biggest cheeseburger I've ever seen. haha. Then Joe and Dave took me home. Dave came into the house to say hi to the parents, but no one was home. So we took a little time to ourselves and Joe waited in the car...haha. We got a few minutes just to lie in my bed, kiss and talk.

Words can't express how amazing it is to hold him and be held again. I really can't describe the feeling I have after not seeing my baby for 4 months and now having him here and us being even more in love with eachother than when he left. Love is truly the most incredible feeling in the entire world. Tonight, me, Joe and Dave visited Joy and Kristi and then headed to McDonalds for some grub. Ate, and then visited Nicky at work. Took Joe home and Dave and I went to Wal*Mart and looked at things to buy eachother for some ideas, and searched for the Shaun Of The Dead movie. We were pissed it wasn't there. Then we came back to my house and cuddled on the couch and watched White Chicks, just like old times. It rocked to say the least. Then I had to take him home and here I am.

Tomorrow night is going to rule as well because he's sleeping over! :) We get to sleep in the same bed and everything. Right on parents. I'm so glad they're being cool about this because I just can't wait to wake up next to him. Not to mention I'm going down with him on the 2nd until the 10th and we're going to kinda live together for 8 days! So rad. I can't wait to see where he lives and meet all of his friends, especially Beau because apparently thats his new best friend. A cool southern guy from Louisiana or something. haha. So cool.

Alright well, I better get to bed. I just wanted to write down what has been going on these past fews days. I hope everyones vacation rocks and I know I'll be seeing all of you around. *goodnight*


-AbSeNcE mAkEs ThE hEaRt GrOw FoNdEr-

12:41am: *Less Than 5 Days....GLORIOUS*
So, I don't know what to write about, but I'm bored and just listening to music and talking to Sean and I figured, what the heck! Why not write. I was thinking about the things I've learned in the past year or so, and I feel like writing them down.

-make sure you listen more than you talk
-dont forgive just anyone
-make sure you laugh more than you cry
-true love exists
-people always get what they deserve, and do not get what they dont
-true friends fight for your friendship and dont let it slip away
-not all girls are dramatic
-you cant always save the day
-sometimes you just need to let go
-other times, things are worth fighting for
-nothing is perfect
-long distance relationships work only for those who are willing to work at it
-make sure you make yourself happy before anything else
-a university isnt all its cracked up to be (for me, not for all)
-i love my girls
-drama doesnt have to exist
-sometimes i drink too much
-marijuana should be legal
-Something Corporate rules
-im addicted to piercings and tattoos
-i need another job
-im a HUGE dork
-people hurt me more than i like to admit
-nothing worth having comes easy
-i cant sing
-dont let people walk all over you
-stand up for yourself
-i rule at beruit
-be cautious of what you say
-there is no such thing as normal
-stealing is bad
-dont let good memories with old friends turn into bad memories
-dont be hostile
-let go of anger
-im a kickass painter
-prenatal vitamins make your hair grow faster
-hot pink and black rules
-merrimack isnt as bad as we all thought it was
-be scared of stupid people in large groups
-every bad experience is a blessing in disguise
-dont let anyone make you feel unimportant
-those who make fun of others are insecure
-spiders are after me
-star gazing is the best
-cold weather is the worst
-have no regrets, but dont be stupid
-life is unpredictable, but structured


Who knew I'd be going to a community college, 15 minutes away from home, with the most amazing friends ever, and smoking marb reds. Who knew I'd have a nice car, and a boyfriend I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Who knew I would be so important to so many people. Who knew life always works itself out for the best and everything happens for a reason. :) Thats all I've got for now....I'm gunna head to bed and I hope everyone enjoyed this little, reflection I had. (just refer to "I'm a HUGE dork"....remember that


goodnight, I love you all. I can't wait for you all to come home for Christmas break and we're gunna rock m-town's socks off, just like we ALWAYS do!!!!!

8:52pm: *So I Dub Thee Unforgiven*
I absolutely love Metallica....my God. I'm listening to it right now and its just kick ass music. Boo yeah Metallica. You old son of a bitches, haha rock the fuck on. Anywho, I'm bored so I'm gunna do a bunch of those damn quizzes....why the hell not right? So here we go :)



G:

Your Beauty lies
in Individuality. Different, amazing, and all your
own. You like be set apart
from all others and most love that you do. You are
solitary at times, but for
the most part, there is no greater compliment to
you than someone telling you
that you are different. You're most likely a bit of
a fighter and you hate it
when anyone attempts to change who you are. You
wear what you want, look how you
want and don't let anyone tell you what do to. You
can be a little immature at
times and have trouble dealing with authority and
asking others for help. You
like to do things yourself and are independent
almost to a fault. But, people
still find your individuality amazing and the fact
that no matter what happens
or what anyone else anyone thinks about it, you
will not change who you are.</font>

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Dark, Fire Animal: White Tiger Color:
Bold Colors, Odd
Colors Song: Just They Way I Am by Angel
Expression: Smirk

Gemstone:
Bloodstone Mythological Creature: Phoenix,
Dragon Planet: Pluto
Hair Color: Unnatural Colors Eye
Color:
Amber

Quote:
"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh
because you're all the same."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
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you're a gaurdian angel. you fight and protect the
people you love and vaule.


what kind of angel are you?
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Brown
Don't worry. The real world is not for everyone,
and since you can afford to avoid it, why don't
you? Smoke a little, draw a little, make a
little love, sing a little song... You'll join
a fine tradition of Brown graduates who end up
finding themselves... forever.


Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
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alright well......thats all for now. I'm gunna go and watch The Five People You Meet In Heaven and then I'm heading to bed early....not getting home until 3:15 last night kicked my ass. Not to mention, being stoned in Alyssa's car and getting a flat tire and Sean Blaine saving the day. Then heading to Dunks house and smoking more. Life sure is tough..



8 days until my other half is coming home :) yay!